Allusions

It takes a… “special”

Kind of child

To watch movies everyday of his

Young life

And come to the conclusion that the United States

Consists of

Only New York and Los Angeles

--Especially when that child lives in Denver.

But that’s what I was.

                I was that

                                … “special”

Child.

I had seen so many movies at such a

                Young age

That I was convinced every single

Part

of

                the U.S.

belonged

in some way or form

to

                either

New York

                                Or Los Angeles.

Denver must’ve been a suburb

                Or some shit.

This is because

Of course

                Most movies take place in either

N.Y. or L.A.

                In Cinemaland, most nowhere else existed.

                Sure, Rocky was from Philadelphia,

Which is a suburb of New York.
                I knew this because it looked cold

All that hot breath boiling from

Rocky’s lips.

                DieHard 2 took place in Chicago

Which was just another word for New York

Like Queens, or Brooklyn or Manhattan or The Bronx or StatenIsland

Or Long Island

                What with the accents and all

It seemed pretty obvious to six-year-old me.

But as I got older

I eventually realized that New York and L.A.

Didn’t constitute the entirety of the United States of America.

No

Instead

Everything worth making a movie about

                Only takes place in L.A. or N.Y.

Nothing exciting happens much

Anywhere else.

Somebody made a movie about Fargo

But I didn’t watch it

                Because obviously nothing happens in that movie

Because nothing happens outside of New York or L.A.

                Must be a movie about people sitting around

Drinking coffee

Having mundane conversations

                As they read the newspaper

And watch the nightly news.

                Maybe one of them is “funny looking”.

Seriously,

I’ve lived in Colorado my whole life.

I’ve never been visited by an alien

                Whose neck extended when he pee’d.

Or alien robots who transform into slick versions

Of

                General Motors sports cars.

The mob doesn’t have much of a presence here.

                Eastern European terrorists

Have never taken a Christmas party

Full of yuppies hostage

                And blown up a building

While trying to steal some bonds

Or something.
              No ghosts
and no scientists running around
with nuclear-powered backpack
              Trying to catch them.
No killer robots from the future
travel back in time to Colorado
              to save the future of the species.

                Or, at least I haven’t heard about it.

Sometimes people fall in love here… I suppose.

                They live and die.

I once saw a story on the news about

A man who risked his own

                Life

To save a child who

                Was drowning in a frozen lake

Somewhere south of Denver.

                I personally know a bunch of alcoholics

And drug addicts.

                So that sort of stuff happens around here.

It seems.

                I went to college

And found it a mostly miserable

And disappointing

                Experience.

I met several people who had nervous breakdowns.

Although now aliens have landed here

That I know about

There is a sizeable population

                Of individual

Who chase after UFOs.

                Everyday

Someone is fired

From work.

I’m sure of it.

Divorce. Disease. Disasters of all kinds.

I once saw a news report of a couple of

                Dudes

Who had survived several hours

                Buried underneathan avalance.

I’ve met too many girls

                Who have been sexually assaulted.

I’ve met a couple of people who have been kidnapped.

Both the victim and the offender have their story to tell.

                For a couple of years

I worked in a halfway house.

So I know that people commit crimes

And end up in prison around these parts.

                I’m sure they all had all the crimes

Plotted out.

They’d probably watched too many

Movies too.

                And the crime was a “sure-thing.”

Some of them were successful criminals for awhile.

                Drug dealers mostly

Although most drug dealers don’t make the kind of money

They’d like for you to believe.

                Most were petty criminals.

Small crimes.
       Every day
someone at school gets bullied.
One time
    a couple of boys shot up a school. 
       Killed some of their classmates.

Things like that happen around
          here.

                Nothing to make a movie about.