Why Animal Planet?

Why
Animal Planet
why must every time
Issa Furious is in a bad
mood
and crying
because she's a whiner
like her old man
and I change the channel
so that she can see
jumping monkeys
in the streets of Bangkok
or golden lions
feasting on the corpse of a freshly slaughtered
wildebeest
or an infestation of scorpions in
some Arizonan home
or apes peeling
bananas
(Issa Furious loves bananas,
it was even one of her first words)
or laughing hyenas
or zebras and gazelles in the midst of bedlam
running for their lives
or starving Floridan crocodiles
or talking meercats
or a cave overflowing
with a cloud of rabid bats.

you know, all
of the things that make Issa Furious
stop crying
and start laughing
or at least smiling
as she points at the TV and says
"Dog-gy?"

why
every time I change the channel
must you
be on a
commercial?

Every god damned

time.